I'm Baaack!

I had forgotten that my last post was my angry one from that client that accosted me in my office about my personal religious beliefs. He's not the reason that I stopped blogging, just in case anyone thought so. In fact I've been rather lazy busy since May. I actually drafted several posts that I never actually published as they were a bit too sensitive to send into the ether.

I am now doing TWO jobs at work, mine plus an additional caseload to cover for a vacancy. I'm not sure why I was chosen to take this on, unless it leads to a promotional position that I interviewed for. In that case it might be worth it. On the other hand I've had the urge to quit and storm out simply out of exhaustion, frustration and the knowledge that what is happening to me isn't "right." The worst part is that I'm not sure that I chose a line of work that feeds my soul. More on that later.

I started SEWING - woohoo that's been fun. I've read a lot of books (and have one on the way!!) As it turns out, traditional patterns don't exactly work for my individual shape so I've had to learn how to adjust them. My keen talent in geometry has served me well. I've completed two dresses - one black, one wildly colorful and fuscia. And I have 3-4 things that are near completion. And I have a stack of multiple shades of wool to whip into fabulousness. (http://mysewcalledlife2012.wordpress.com/ for those of you who are interested in my missteps.)

I'm taking a voice lesson through a local community college (which saved me quite a bit of money) but I'm not singing in my husband's choir this semester. It's been one of the most impactful decisions I've made - we actually have to talk about something other than his job(!!!) AND I'm able to enjoy singing for my own pleasure. Needless to say it's done wonders for both of us. Although, I've picked three difficult solo pieces to work on - one Bach, one Handel and one Mozart (which may be subbed) - it may be time to rethink.

I'm rambling on so much about these other things because I honestly haven't done much spiritual work since May. I really want that to be more consistent, even when life is taking me down. I'm reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, highly recommended by my personal advisor (my cousin Brianna), and it's been really eye-opening. The main topic is shame, but moreso how shame keeps us a prisoner. I'm only 60 pages in, but I'm already starting to notice my own patterns of seeking approval, and feeling self-conscious about who I am and "my story" as Brene calls it. I also just pulled How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by the Dalai Lama off my bookshelves to start. The conclusion is that I have a fair amount of control over the amount of soul-sucking that goes on in my life, even at work.

Until next time....I'm brewing a commentary on marriage. Snap.