Too Soon to Tell

It’s been nearly 10 years since I was accosted about my religious beliefs. I remember vividly the star quarterback at Powell High School bellying up to my lunch table and asking me if I had been saved. Saved from what? This response did nothing to move him. I was then told that because I didn’t attend church, I was going straight to hell, no ifs, ands or buts. He even tried to appeal to the fact that we were “friends”, you know, like how we are “friends” with people on Facebook. My face must have turned red because my lunch companion quickly told Mr. Football that perhaps it was best if he leave the table, which he did.

I suppose the streak had to end eventually – I’ve been coasting by with no one attempting to “save me” for 10 years. I suppose I was in for a treat. And what a treat it was! If you don’t know, I help people with disabilities get jobs. When I noticed that a new client had mentioned his faith A LOT in his practice interview questions, I made the mistake of asking whether or not he felt this was appropriate in a job interview. Like clockwork the next words out of his mouth were:

“If you were to die tonight, do you know where you’d go?”

“Do you believe in God?”

“Have you ever experienced God?”

“Have you ever experienced the Holy Spirit?

I suppose my response of, “It’s too soon to tell,” wasn’t funny. In fact I’m now convinced that I could have said yes (I instead told him it was irrelevant to us finding him a job) and he still would have pressed the issue. This went on for nearly 45 minutes as I did my damndest to redirect him, pulling from every iota of counseling training I had absorbed ever. I explained to him that generally you want to avoid discussions about religion or politics in interviews, which is sound advice. I even explained that an employer cannot legally inquire about an individual’s religious beliefs during an interview. Then he dropped the bomb:

“I don’t think you believe in God – you’re very anti-God.”

Now if you recall, I never actually answered his question. Why? Because of the principle of it: how dare this man come into my office and assume that I do not believe in God! Perhaps I should have hidden my book on Buddhism, but there’s also a Bible on my desk, which I’m assuming he didn’t see. Even if he did, accompanied by my favorite John Wesley quote – hello Methodists! – nothing I could have said would’ve mattered. He had already made up his mind and the fight was on.

It’s ironic to me that some people use this tactic to try to “save” others – his ignorance didn’t make me want to jump on the Jesus train - I wanted to punch his lights out. In fact, I have not been this personally rattled since that day in the lunchroom. I enjoy a good debate about the existence of God – and I look forward to the chance to delve into the great mystery that is God. I expect to have to argue a bit and explain in order to get my point across – the point that I believe that there is a God and why. But I was undoubtedly unprepared to argue with a fellow Christian about my personal beliefs. In fact, I’m trying my hardest at this very moment to not say to hell with the whole Christian thing. Not the whole God thing, but the whole Christian thing. In fact, I witness the most greed, jealousy, anger, pride, and evil-doing out of “Christians” than those who believe there are other ways to God. Most of these people are so wrapped up in their own ideas about God until they become so exclusionary that only they are worthy of His grace. Only their denomination is the right one. Only their way of doing things are best.

All of my reading about Buddhism hasn’t helped matters. Buddha encouraged all seekers to not accept faith blindly, but to learn and analyze, to ask questions and to seek for themselves. What a complete 180 from the idea that “we” are right and everyone else is doomed to hell!!

So here it is: I am so utterly disgusted with the brand of religion that assumes that their group is in and everyone else is out. The group that slanders and berates others of differing faiths; the group that shows up to church on Sundays simply to impress the other congregants; the members who give their plentiful tithe but can’t be bothered to help the sick or needy, or anyone other than themselves. I’m disgusted by the churches that don’t welcome visitors and don’t make efforts to reach those in need to offer them a place of refuge. I’m disgusted by all the talk of money and how greedy we’ve become – those who tithe the most are those with the most power. And finally I’m disgusted by those who can look another human being in the face and assume to know anything about them.

Here’s a tip – SAVE YOURSELVES! Stop judging others.  Stop mass producing the stairway to God. Stop acting as if you have the only ticket and everyone else is going to burn in hell. Stop acting so high and mighty simply because you attend church every week and can recite every hymn and creed. All of that is crap. Stop saying everyone is hypocritical – here’s a radical truth: WE’RE ALL HYPOCRITICAL!

Your actions, how you speak to others, whether you view others with the eye of compassion or judgment, whether you help those in need or look the other way – these things will be your legacy, not having the first pew of the local church dedicated in your honor.

WHEW! I desperately needed to get that out. My path to enlightenment clearly needs some new pavement. I’m not angry, I’m hurt. Imagine if I’d been on the fence about believing in God, or about going to church. What if I’d never been to church before and had been reading about Christianity and was just looking for someone to tell me about it?

It’s sad to think of the harm done to spiritual seekers due to our own close mindedness, our own inability to even consider other spiritual possibilities. To assume anything makes us all the more ignorant – to push our beliefs on others in such a hateful way just reinforces every opinion they’ve ever had about our type of faith.

Do I believe in God? It’s too soon to tell.