Last night was the first time I had ever been to an Ash Wednesday service. This is actually the first year, despite my husband’s constant planning of Lenten anthems, that I’ve actually considered the meaning of this season. As the ashes were applied to my forehead, I felt a sense of excitement about this year’s forty days of Lent. Being married to the church music director, I am usually the first to know about the music for this season, which is second only to Advent in the church year. The choir prepares and practices for the climax of the season - Easter, after all, is a huge deal – and we celebrate it in a huge way with exuberant music, brass instrumentalists and lilies. It is one of the major peaks of the liturgical year.
It seems like the past few years all I can remember is Easter Sunday – the hours of preparation for the day’s anthems, the plans to be made with family (usually an Easter lunch at someone’s house), and generally the marking of Spring. It is a day to watch the young children hunt for hidden eggs in freshly green grass, and the day to break out your new Easter clothes.
I must admit, though, that until this year Lent has just been another church event. I’ve never “given up” something for Lent, although I can recall friends abandoning sweets, types of music, meat…the list goes on. Giving up one of my vices, however, feels trivial. I firmly believe that I could muster the willpower and self-discipline to give up ice cream, sweet tea or Friends for 40 days. It might not be pleasant at first, but it wouldn’t be a true sacrifice. Instead, I’m going to give up my most valued commodity: my time. For the next 40 days, I’m going to immerse myself in God’s word, be prayerful for guidance and let the wonder of this season sink into my heart. I am going to keep God first every day. Some of you are probably thinking that you already do this, and I applaud you – but for me, it’s a struggle to keep God first, and “finding the time” is the issue.
Being a Christian, to me, is no different than being married: you have to work hard and choose daily to be in the relationship. You don’t sit passively – you are active, motivated and passionate. It takes dedication, patience and love. Some days you’d rather abandon your commitment than work to keep it alive. Likewise some days it’s easier to let the flow of the day capture your time with God – it’s easy to justify a day without reflection, study and prayer because of the events at work or a lack of sleep. But a relationship with Christ takes time – not only in the sense that it is a life-long journey, but also that you must dedicate yourself daily to maintaining the journey.
So for Lent this year, I’m going to revive my relationship with God by giving Him time. Luckily it only takes 21 days to form a habit, so I’m hoping that the 40 days turn into 365, and that 365 turn into a lifetime of daily time with God. It will be difficult: I like my afternoon naps and the constant playing of every episode of Friends no matter how many times I’ve seen them, but perhaps giving this time to Christ is the single most important thing I can do every day. I guess I’ll find out.
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