Jonah - My Dear Friend

It took me until now to come up with my second post - the first came so naturally: I knew my reasons for starting the blog, and I knew that I had something to say to introduce it, but since then, I've been waiting for something else to say. Like so many other mere humans, I too am grappling with the concept of faith - this is nothing new. In fact, so many people grapple with this concept that churches are packed on Sundays, Christian stores are thriving, and there are more kinds of Bibles available than ever before. Have you stepped inside a Christian bookstore lately to purchase a new Bible? If you haven't, I'm not sure I would recommend it. I've spent hours looking through the Bibles, the Christian living books, selections on marriage, love, Bible study, church building, etc. This doesn't include the time I've spent ONLINE researching texts and versions of the Bible. All to wrap my mind around the mystery of faith.

I figured that I needed to start reading before I posted again, and then let the reading simmer in my head for awhile - surely something worth blogging about would come to mind eventually. I must admit that my Bible reading over the past month has had little direction. Despite my good intentions to guide it in some meaningful way, I skip around A LOT. I blame all of the notes in my study Bibles, all the references to different passages, and my sheer curiosity to read everything. Of course I understand that what I have undertaken is a lifelong journey - one that cannot be quenched overnight with the complete reading of one text. The journey to faith in God is an everyday experience, a constant reading/processing/living/praying adventure. I try to be patient, but right now, my thirst is too great to be organized.

My husband mentioned Jonah and the whale in one of our philosophical discussions on faith - he grew up attending church but it's easy for me to forget that he can sometimes be a guide for my many questions about spirituality. When he mentioned Jonah, my mind skipped back to my childhood, sitting in some Sunday school class at some church (depending on which one we were attending that week or month) - yes, I remember: Jonah was swallowed by a whale and kept there. But since reading Jonah for the first time, I find myself coming back to him almost weekly. I even copied Jonah 2 so I could reflect on his prayer inside the great fish. It occured to me last night why Jonah has stuck with me these past weeks: I am Jonah.

Duh, right? While I'm sure this is not some great mystery, it only occured to me last night that Jonah is so relatable because I see myself in him and his struggle with faith. God requests that Jonah go to Nineveh to share the good news, and instead of going with no question (there are too many to mention who have gone in faith at God's calling) Jonah runs - I love that he runs to a ship that is headed in the opposite direction! Perhaps he honestly believes that God cannot find him, that God is not with him and knows exactly where he is and where he is headed, but he still flees. Sure enough, God follows, sending waves and storm around the ship. Of course Jonah is asleep - sleeping soundly during the storm - but his shipmates come and stir him: "Pray to your God! Maybe your God will see we're in trouble and rescue us!" Jonah ends up overboard, and his shipmates have been turned towards God, now praising His glory. Jonah's stubborness continues as he insists on simply sinking to the bottom of the ocean - he doesn't even offer to pray and repent to stop the storm - it is the fear and faith of his shipmates which cease the wind and waves. Again he assumes that God will let him go - and then he is swallowed by the great fish!

I have this great image of a cartoon whale from the 70s, with Jonah sitting pensively in the belly - perhaps this is a bit dramatic, or simply carryover from my childhood, but I imagine Jonah quite perturbed by God: "He just couldn't let me go could He? All I wanted to do was run away, and He found me! And now, despite my efforts otherwise, I am in the belly of a whale!" When I first read Jonah's prayer from deep in the belly of the whale, I really liked it - it spoke to me. Taken out of the context of the rest of the story, I think it's an excellent prayer and I wrote it out to use it in my own conversations with God. But when you relate it back to the story, I believe this prayer loses meaning - Jonah has fled from God, God has followed. Jonah has insisted on death in the sea, God saved him. So Jonah prays. I almost want to believe him, until the story continues. Jonah is released from the great fish, and finally goes to Ninevah. He spreads the word and the people come to God - amazing! And Jonah is PISSED! (Excuse the language, but seriously - pissed.)

Jonah is so angry with God for saving these people - how dare God save these worthless people! How dare God change his mind and forgive them! This anger is so present in all of us today - not only do we flee from God's calling on our lives, but we also feel angry when he is gracious towards others. What's more interesting is that Jonah didn't deserve God's grace any more than the sinners of Ninevah, but God's grace and love extends to all of His people, not just those who we believe to be the most worthy. I love Jonah's obviously absurd argument when yelling at God: "I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!" The God that Jonah describes really sounds awful doesn't he? I mean, just terrible. Why would any of us want to have a relationship with a God who is clearly crazy enough to love us that much?

Jonah finally becomes angry enough to die, his shade tree having been eaten by a worm - and God responds: "How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it." Wow - what wisdom. Like God's grace, we did nothing to get it. Through God's grace and love, and our faith in Him, our sins are forgiven. It is through God that this grace is given and nurtured - we had no part in securing it or earning it. Maybe more comical, God seems to almost be mocking Jonah's flippancy - his mood was altered by something as small as a shade tree - yet God's mood changed when the people of Ninevah's hearts were moved towards Him. How quick we are to forget our blessings.

I must admit that my head is spinning and has been since this occured to me last night - God is so good to us. Yet we run, we question, we argue, we fail to hear His calling in our life, and then we are foolish enough to get angry when he loves and shows mercy towards others. I thank God for chasing after us when we run, for having a purpose for each of us in this world, and for loving us despite our foolishness. I thank God for loving us when we are stubborn and unyielding, and for blessing us beyond belief.

Despite his attitude, Jonah's prayer is so poignant:
     "In my distress I called to the Lord,
          and he answered me.
     From the depths of the grave I called for help,
          and you listened to my cry.
     You hurled me into the deep,
          into the very heart of the seas,
          and the currents swirled about me;
     all your waves and breakers
          swept over me.
     I said, 'I have been banished
          from your sight;
     yet I will look again
          toward your holy temple.'
     The engulfing waters threatened me,
          seaweed was wrapped around my head.
     To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
          the earth beneath me barred me forever.
     But you brought my life up from the pit,
          O Lord my God.

     "When my life was ebbing away,
          I remembered you, Lord,
     and my prayer rose to you,
          to your holy temple.

     "Those who cling to worthless idols
          forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
     But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
          will sacrifice to you.
     What I have vowed I will make good.
          Salvation comes from the Lord."

May we have the strength and courage to repeat these words with warm hearts, willing and able to go where God may lead us - no attitude, no anger. Just faith in Him. May we be eager to turn to God, just as Jonah's shipmates, and the people of Ninevah, and may we continue to learn from Jonah.